


Freefall: a sequel to Going Under

by ThisArtemisNeverMisses



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. References, Angst, Captain America freeform, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Marvel Universe, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut, Romance, Romantic Fluff, The Avengers (2012) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 12:01:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21901351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisArtemisNeverMisses/pseuds/ThisArtemisNeverMisses
Summary: After the events of ‘Going Under’ you start a new life in Tokyo. Realising those events changed you in more then one way. You’re not just the nice analyzer girl, you take life in your own hands again. Only to be pulled back into the rabbit whole.After almost 2 years the Avengers call upon your help. Recapturing the one person that made your life a living hell. Going on a manhunt, or more likely womanhunt, with the one person you hoped to leave behind for good. Will things spark again between the two of you or are you as cold as ice?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	1. Kako (the Past)

**Author's Note:**

> SO here's the first chapter of Freefall. It's a stand alone story by itself, but if you want to know the backstory, I recommend reading Going Under.

From a distance Wanda watched the Raft rise from its waters. With every second they got closer to this prison, her anxiety got bigger. Only 24 hours ago they got a request to visit the Raft. The inmate with number 235 asked for a meeting with no other than Captain America himself. He asked Wanda to come with her, knowing her ability to read minds and emotions to come in handy. A shaky breath escaped her lips, it had been 2 years since she had sabotaged everything, since she took advantage of her trust. Wanda hooped she could contain herself from hurting her, hopefully she could stay calm. “Don’t worry, I will do the talking, she won’t get the opportunity to speak to you”, Steve put his hands over Wanda’s trying to calm her nerves.

The quinjet landed on the helipad, where Lieutenant Campbell awaited their arrival. “Captain Rogers, Miss Maximoff, glad you could make it so quick”, he greeted, giving them a hand, “She’s going to dive soon, please go inside”, Lieutenant Campbell motioned for the door, as the dive alarm sounded. Wanda stopped at the entrance, something felt off, she couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was something off. “Miss Maximoff are you coming?” the Lieutenant asked, “Nervous, ma’am?”, eyeing her, “I’m not fond of tight spaces”, Wanda smiles, lying to the Lieutenant, she didn’t trust him. Speeding up her pass, so she was walking next to Steve, “Somethings off Steve, I can’t figure out what it is, but keep your eyes open”, she whispered to the tall Avenger.

Once they went through security and had a clearance card, they were escorted towards an interrogations room. It was a cold white room, with a metal table and chairs. A big glass window framed the left wall and cameras on each side of the room. It felt like an eternity before prisoner 235 was escorted in. Once she was cuffed to the table, the soldier accompany her, took his place in the corner. Wanda looked him over, there was something about him. He seemed familiar, like she had seen him elsewhere. Steve also looked at the soldier, for a moment he thought he saw Rumlow in the solider. But shook it away, knowing Rumlow was in a prison in Russia. Looking at the person in front of him, how he would love to wipe that smug smile of her face, “What do you want, Sharon?”, Steve asks clenching his jaw. “Ooh, just wanted to see your face again, you know how I’m, always wanting to see your face. By the way that beard looks good on you Stevie”, Sharon smiles, leaning back in her chair. “Good to see you to, Wanda”, grinning at the reaction she get from Wanda. “You requested for me Sharon, So what do you want, Cause I’m not believing that you just wanted to see me”, Steve looked from her to the solider, in some way he was distracted by him. “I just wanted to let you know, that things are going to change, Stevie. Oh you can search all you want Wanda, but you won’t find anything in my thoughts. I’m a quick learner”, Sharon tappet her head, seeing the anxiety in Wanda’s face made her smile. “I don’t know where you think you’re going, but this is your new home for quite a while know”, Steve shifts in his chair, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to happen. “4 minutes, sir,” the soldier announced, his voice awakening Wanda’s mistrust in him. “Well, I’m kind of tired of the same old colors and they won’t let me redecorate it, so I think it’s time to move…to something more…..” Sharon’s eyes glistered dangerously. “It’s a trap..”, Wanda whispered, “Wanda, what did you say?” Steve turned towards her. “It’s a trap”, she spoke, her eyes widening when she finally could read the thoughts of the soldier in the room. “Steve, it’s a trap, that’s Rumlow”, finally finding her voice, pointing towards the soldier in the room. With a swift movement Sharon had her cuffs off and a high pitching noise filled the room. It was deafening and disturbing all communications. It was soon followed by blast, making a whole in the wall, catching Steve and Wanda off-guard. Burying both of them underneath the rubble. Wanda was unconscious, Steve lay on the ground, a ringing in his ears and feeling disoriented. Trying to find something to lean on and stand up, but failing with every attempt. A grunt escapes his mouth, “Wanda, you okay? Wanda?”, trying to find her, feeling around in the debris for her. Fighting off his state of unconscious’s he focuses on Sharon. She’s standing next to the soldier smiling wildly at Steve. Registering that the soldier had taken off his headgear, he recognizes him as Rumlow, “How’d you escape?” Steve, whispers, his voice barely audible. “What’s that Stevie? What did you say?” Sharon comes close to him, kneeing in front of him, “You’re…not..getting away with this”, he swallows thick. “Oh, Stevie, but I’m, I’m sweetie”, she smiles manically, “You can give your girl a message from me, Stevie. She can enjoy her happily ever after with you for now, but soon it will be my destiny to be with you. I’m going to change our fates”, she spoke into his ear, the buzz still ringing in his head, making the message incoherent with his hearing. “You what?” he replies squeezing his eyes, feeling the dizziness take over, “I’m going to make sure that our fates are entwined and with that you will never have met y/n”, she smiled, quickly reverting to Rumlow, who gave her a gun, exiting the room through the whole. “Y/N, she’s not with me, I…” Steve spoke soft, before the darkness took hold of him.

**\----- 2 days later ----- **

You fumble with your keys, trying to prey them out of your pocket. Cursing under your breath, when they fall to the ground and you hear the phone ring for a second time. It was urgent, for that phone had never rung the past two years. When you finally get your door open, you throw all your belonging into the next available corner and pick up the phone.

“Moshi Moshi..” you pick up your phone, for it stays quiet on the other side of the line, “Hello, Dare ga soko ni imasu ka? Who’s there?” you ask.

“Y/N?” a voice says, in the back of your mind you recognize that voice.

“Yes, who’s this?....Bucky, is this you…?” you stand up and walk towards your bed, getting the gun from under your pillow, trying to analyze your surroundings. Was someone here, had something happened?

“Y/N….It’s…, we need your help, she’s on the lose.” The voice tells you.

“You mean…”, your stomach turns, when the voice interrupts you with a yes.

“You need to come back, we need your help. Lexi’s almost there, please…”, then the line is death. Followed by a knock on your door. Looking through the peephole, you see a woman standing. She looks much like Lexie, but you can’t trust your gut at this point. “What’s the safe word”, you ask, getting the safety pin of your gun. “Come on Y/N, you know it’s me. I don’t want to say it”, the woman pleads. “Save word”, you answer sternly awaiting the answer of the woman. “Fine, Lexipedia rules”, she answers with a sigh. Opening the door you see Lexi standing. Her once long hair, has made way for a short hairdo, the side’s shaven and long on top. Her once round face, now sculpted, high cheekbones framing her face. The young girl she ones was gone. Looking at you she whispers your name, “You’ve changed, a lot…” looking you over with wide eyes. Pulling her inside your apartment, checking the hallway for witnesses. “Yeah, I’m not the only one who’s changed”, you say using your gun to point at Lexi’s appearance. “Could you put the gun away and give me a hug?” she exclaims, opening her arms for her to welcome you. “Sorry, occupation hazard, I’m trigger-happy”, you smile, putting the gun in its holster and hugging Lexi. “Good to see you Lexi. I’ve missed you”, you say soft, swallowing the tears away. “So what’s up with this?” she asks, while fumbling with a lock of your hair. “What, I just dyed it”, you shrug walking towards the fridge, “Just dyed, it’s almost black and a lot shorter then I can remember”, Lexi follows you into the kitchen. “Well, starting over means starting over completely, so figured why not a make-over”, pouring in a drink. “Yeah, how’s working as a field agent going?” Lexi asks, taking her drink. “Shall we cut the small talk and leave that for the plane? What’s with the mysterious phone call? Who was that anyway?” you ask finishing your drink in one take. “Sharon, she…she escaped the Raft with assistance of Rumlow. He’s escaped Russia and infiltrated the Raft to help her escape. They’re both on the loose. The last thing we know, is that they took a plane towards Morocco. We don’t know why, but were trying to analyze everything we found in her cell”, Lexi explains avoiding your second question. “Okay, I will start packing, where were headed?” you ask walking into your bedroom. “Lexi, answer me”, you peek out of the bedroom, only to see her fumbling with the hem of her shirt, looking at the ground. “Lexi, were…are..we..going?” you ask her amplifying every word. “Backtothecompound”, she mumbles, closing her eyes awaiting your reaction. “To the compound? You serious? Why don’t we go to Morocco?” you ask her calmly, “We don’t really know why she’s going to Morocco. Analyzing those document is priority one, following after her comes second”, she smiles apologetic. Putting the last things in your backpack you sigh, “Fine, you can fill me in when were on the plane. I assume that’s not a pizza box in your bag, so let me see the footage in the plane, okay? Let’s go”, you motion for Lexi to walk into the corridor, punching in your access code to secure your apartment, locking the door behind you. Hopefully you were back soon and could get on with your own life. Trying to discard the thoughts of a certain tall Avenger, you walk beside Lexi towards the elevator.

**\----- On the plane ----- **

“Wow, that’s fucked up”, closing the laptop, looking at Lexi, “How did Rumlow managed to get in, let alone get the explosives in?” Lexi looks at you apologetic, “I can’t answer you this, this is the only footage that hasn’t been corrupted, as if she meant for you to see what happens”, Lexi explains. Well the two years in prison had given Sharon enough time to think up an escape plan, “What’s the last thing she tells Steve before exiting the room?” firing another question at Lexi, “I’m sorry I can’t tell you that, only Steve can and he’s, well, let’s just say he’s not himself right now”, Lexi answers, avoiding your gaze.

Taking a sip of your drink, “Who else escaped with them? Anyone I need to know of?” you ask Lexi seeing her squirm with your question.

“Oh, just, Willis Strycker and Mariah Dillard, no one in particular?” Lexi shrugs, hoping you wouldn’t freak out.

“Only a world-class sniper and a master manipulator are on Sharon’s team, no big deal right? It’s going to be fun then”, you mock finishing your drink, “I’m going to try get some sleep, flying into a different time zone, is something I’m not used to anymore”, you turn away from Lexi, trying to find a comfortable position so sleep can take you over. The only problem is, is that your dreams are filled with blue stormy eyes, big warm arms and an all too familiar voice. 


	2. Kare (Him)

The skyline beneath you lights up. Feeling the plane descent, alarms you that you’re almost there. New York, the place you left 2 years ago, the place you hoped to leave behind for good. The place where he recedes, the person that stole your heart and smashed it in betrayal. Sure he apologized and helped you capture her, but you were so disappointed in him, you expected more from him, from Captain America. Remembering your last conversation with him, you can’t help but feel a mixture of nausea and butterflies in your stomach.

_“Y/n, please don’t leave. We can figure this out, together”, Steve took your face in his hands, standing close to you. “No Steve, I need to do this, as much as I want us to be more. I…I just need time to process everything, time…away…from you” your eyes shimmer with unshed tears. His thumb lifts your chin, making you look directly at him. “You sure, I can…” he starts, seeing you nod no, is enough for him to shut up. He couldn’t make you change your mind, he needed to let you go, were you to come back to him. Your wounded heart needed to heal, even it would mean years waiting for you. He would occupy himself while he waited, it was his punishment for betraying you. Giving you one last kiss, you say your goodbyes, trying not to let the inner turmoil win, you don’t look back. _

You tucked those feelings away, when you left 2 years ago, hoping you would outgrow them, maybe find someone new. Instead of giving in, you let your new task as field agent consume you, Makoto lovely nicknamed you ‘Robotto’, seeing your ability to shut off all emotions. If she could see you now, she wouldn’t call you that anymore, your emotions were all over the place, including the nervousness of seeing him again. You had to keep your feelings in check, your solemn mission was to recapture Sharon. Just had to focus on that one.

The drive to the new compound was silent, you were trying to prepare yourself for the encounter. Your nerves were getting the best of you, seeing everyone back evoked so many emotions. The stories Lexi had told you, didn’t help. Feeling responsible for the loss of a great archer, due to the fact that Clint decided to retire. Callie had gone of grid for nearly a year, only to be found by Owen who had dragged her back. Avery wasn’t the fun and kind person she knew anymore. According to Lexi he had the nickname ‘Helix’, for letting people spiraling down, while in interrogation. Wanda had panic attacks during missions and they got even worse after Sharon’s escape. And there was Steve, who since your departure, had gone rogue for a while. He blamed himself for not trusting you, for letting someone manipulate him, that he didn’t trust anyone working for the law. Lexi told you that he changed much, was more cynical, more on edge and his appearance has changed too. You lay your head against the window, enjoying the cold radiating from it. Somewhere on the way, you drift of having a dreamless sleep until Lexi wakes you. Your mind is still foggy, when you register that you’re at the compound. Looking at Lexi, you ask her how you look, getting two dumbs up from her. Checking yourself in the rearview mirror, you straighten a few strains of hair and wipe away the mascara under your eyes. Stepping out of the car, you are immediately greeted by Calli who launches herself around your neck. “Hi, there, I’ve missed you”, she smiles hugging you tight. “Hi, Calli, it’s been a while”, you hug her back. For the past two years you only kept contact with two people, Lexi and Bucky, they were the ones that stood by you, heard you out and kept you sane. Seeing Owen and Avery stand next to Wanda and Sam, makes your heart ache. Sharon’s sabotages had their effect on them to. Owen looked old and Avery looked worn out, tired. Not to mention of Wanda, who had bags under her eyes from the sleepless nights. Looking at your friends, seeing what the effect of Sharon on them was, you feel guilty and regret leaving instantly. You almost feel selfish for needing space. It wasn’t only you, who got mistreated, on the long way, it was them too. 

“Who’s that?” Peter asks, standing next to Steve who’s observing the reunion from a distance. It’s that Lexi stood beside you, otherwise he wouldn’t have recognized you in the first place. Your features had changed, your hair was shorter, had a different color and you looked womanlier, there was nothing girly about you anymore. “Mister America, uhh sorry, Steve, Who’s that?” Peter repeats his question, getting nervous with every second Steve doesn’t answer. “The girl I let get away”, Steve says absentmindedly, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Peter asks looking at Steve. Snapping out of his thoughts Steve looks at Peter, “Did Tony ever tell you about y/n?” he asks, seeing the eyes of Peter widen, “She’s, y/n? Cool?”, Peter answers starting to walk towards the crowd, getting a questionly look from Steve. With two steps he has caught up with Peter, “What the hell did Tony tell you about y/n?” He asks slowing down his pace, waiting for Peter to answer. “Tony told me about her abilities, how she is a tech-genius, knows how to analyze situations, Oh, and how she punched Sharon of course, Why?” looking at the tall Avenger before him, his face in a frown, Tony hadn’t told the young one everything, but why? “So you don’t know about..” Steve starts, but gets interrupted by you. “Hi, Steve..” you stand before him, trying to look calm and confident, but you aren’t. You’re insides are screaming, crying and angry at the same time. Even after all this time apart, you still have feelings for him. Feelings you won’t admit to yourself nor to any other breathing being. He took so much from you and you weren’t going to give him any chance of reconciling with you, right? “Getting Sharon back into the Raft is the reason I’m here, nothing more nothing less, okay?!” you look at the man standing before you, you weren’t the only person that changed. He looked older, maybe it’s because of the longer hair, it seemed darker than before, the beard made him look rough and manly, not the boy scout you left behind. His dark blue uniform displaying his every muscle. Breathing in sharply you repeat your intern mantra, ‘You can’t touch me know, there’s no feeling left. I crawled back on my feet again. What you did to me, I can’t forget’. His eyes narrow on yours, swallowing hard, “Okay”, his rough voice says. Your attention distracted towards his full lips, barely registering his words. “y/n, I’m..Keter Arking, uhmm..sorry..sheejs, Peter Parker, miss y/n”, the young one pushed himself between you and Steve, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Hello Peter, I’m y/n y/l/n, I used to be the teams analyze” you smile at him. “Let’s get inside, so we can discuss this situation”, you add while walking inside.

As if on que Tony walks into the hallway, “Young Lady we seriously need to talk. You go off grid for 2 years and not once you contact me”, he overdramatically exclaims, not paying attention to how the others look. “Old Man, don’t fuss, I kept contact with Lexi and Bucky. They knew where I was all this time”, you counteract, not noticing the raise of eyebrows from Steve. You held contact with Bucky, why didn’t the punk tell him that?

“Come here”, Tony opens his arms, hugging you tight, “He, old man, good to see you”, you whisper in his ear. “Let me look at you”, holding you by the arms. “Looking good, huh, anyone in your life right know? Huh, come on, can tell me, anyone?” Tony teases, “Stop making me laugh, Tony. NO there’s nobody?” you smile, “Don’t tell me you’re still waiting on doufus over there”, he says pointing towards Steve, catching him off guard. “Would you stop it, I’m here for Sharon, so tell me what I need to know”, you take Tony by the arm, letting him lead you towards the meeting room. He could make you feel so relax and forget what happened, it was good to have him as a friend. It was good to have all of them as friends, maybe it was time to let them in, they suffered too. Maybe you could let……

“Were here, please take a seat and we’ll start right away”, Tony announces, typing something in his phone. After everyone’s seated, the blinds close and F.R.I.D.A.Y. starts a presentation. The footage of the Raft is shown, just like the data belonging to Sharon and Rumlow. F.R.I.D.A.Y. finishes the presentation with the question ‘What’s in Morocco?’. “Wouldn’t we all like to know?”, Avery cynically answers. “Relax, Avery, That’s why I’m here for. We will solve this and get that bitch back in the Raft”, trying to calm his nervous was easier in the past, you can still see his jaw clenched, which wasn’t a good sign. “Avery, look at me, Were going to solve this, okay”, looking directly at him, he lowers his eyes, avoiding contact with you. “I know”, he growls under his breath, surprised by his reaction, you try to focus on a different thing. “Tony, Lexi said there were papers Sharon collected during her time in the Raft?” asking the billionaire to show you the room, leaving the rest behind, letting them continue their own things.

“What’s wrong with Avery?”, you ask Tony, guessing the answer, but you want to hear it. “Can’t you guess? He’s angry….with you”, Tony answers bluntly, seeing the look on your face lets him know you guessed wright. “Because I left? He feels left behind?” you ask reconfirming your own thoughts, not looking at Tony. “Yes, he is angry with you, for not staying, for not wanting to process it with him, he finds it selfish and has a hard time grounding himself for feeling so angry”, he explains. “I see”, you say soft, you had to confront him about that, it would be hard, but it had to happen, soon. “Tony, could you show me the gym?”, getting a confused look from the man. “It’s just..I need to clear my thoughts before I’m going to read all those papers, a lot has happened in this short time. I need to blow of some steam, before continuing. Besides major jetlag”, you say while pointing at yourself. “Sure”, Tony smiles, “I’m sorry, it’s just everyone is so on edge. I forgot you’re living on the other side of the planet. We need to go two floors down for the gym. Your belongings are already in your room. So when you’re ready, you can get some sleep. We’ll continue this when you’re rested”, Tony hugs you, kissing the side of your head, “It’s good to have you home again, y/n”, he smiles. You smile back at him, stepping into the elevator, pushing the button, once the elevator is out of Tony’s sight, you let your smile fall. Good to be home, you’re back in the ruckus, back in the turmoil of your feelings of everyone’s feelings. Fuck, you never guessed making that decision 2 years ago, would affect everyone around you. 

Programming Friday with you playlist, you enter the gym. After a few laps of running and some warming-up exercises, you start your training routine. Practicing your punches and kicks on a punching back, each blow echoing through the gym. The music switches and an upbeat song from the Pussycat Dolls is played, speeding up your routine, while the music caries you and clears your mind. “Really, didn’t think you were that kind of listener”, a male voice startles you, interrupting your routine. Looking around to see the person interrupting you, you see Bucky standing in the doorway. “Really? y/n, you listen to that shit?” he smiles mockingly at you. “They’re right, I don’t NEED a man, but good to see you to, Barnes”, you smile, sipping at your bottle of water. Walking towards you he looks you over “You’ve changed…..a lot” stopping in front of you, registering every change of your body. “Well you didn’t”, you smile, “Want a hug? It’s a sweaty one?” opening your arms to welcome him in. “Come here you, how’ve you been?” he asks while hugging you. “Learned my lesson, mourned my lost chances and changed my way of living, otherwise fine”, you shrug. “It’s been a while since we talked, you still owe me a call”, Bucky scolds you. “I can’t help it if you call in the middle of a mission. Got interrupted and almost shot at, because you called”, you scold back, continuing your routine. Bucky holds the punching bag in place, seeing the look on his face, you stop for a minute. “What? And don’t say nothing, you have that look on your face” you have your hands on your hips, when he doesn’t answer you continue. Breaking the silence between you, Bucky knows he’s playing with fire, “He misses you, he..” you interrupt him with one glance, “I’m not here to talk about Steve, but to capture Sharon”, your voice as cold as possible, punching the bag even harder. “y/n, look at him, he’s changed to, he can’t stop thinking about the mistakes he’s made with you. Give the idiot a chance”, Bucky continues. You stop punching the bag, “Bucky, either you’re helping me practice and shut up or theirs the door!” you say pointing at the door. “Y/N, listen to me, please..” letting go of the punching bag, “NO! Bucky, stop it! I don’t need to hear it!”, you shout. Punching the bag one last time making it collide with Bucky, who’s surprised and can’t stop the bag in its momentum, making him fall to the ground. Gathering your things, you walk away, “I’m done with practice”. Not seeing Steve stand by the window, you’ve changed so much and he was the one to blame. How could he possibly make it up to you?


	3. Sono Ishi (the Stone)

Looking at the paper mess before you, you sigh, how in the world would you find the needle in this paper stack. How was it possible for Sharon to gather so much information, knowing that the Raft was a fortress, supposedly impenetrable. Yet she had managed to gather information about ancient myths. What was she searching for, what was her plan, why was she in Morocco. With every box you opened, another question was added, this was something you didn’t miss as analyzer, finding that freakin’ piece of the puzzle. Standing with your hands on top of your head, trying to relax the muscles in your back, you hear a manly chuckle. Looking at the door opening, you see Steve standing there, leaning against the doorframe.

“I missed that signature stand of yours”, he smiles pushing himself of the doorframe, walking into the room. “You were near a breakthrough when you stood like that”, he stops before you, crossing his arms. “Well, hate to disappoint you, but I’m not near a breakthrough. It’s been 2 years since I last analyzed something, I’ve been a field agent since my arrival in Sendai”, turning away from Steve, not seeing the question in his face. Starting to rummage through a new pile of papers, your eyes catch the notes to her escape plan. Reading the first lines, realizing that getting Steve there was her plan all along, you turn towards him. “What did she whisper into your ear?” you ask him, squeezing your eyes, “Say what?” Steve asks not registering your question. “What did Sharon whisper in your ear, before she took off with Rumlow?” you ask him again. “I..I can’t remember. My head was pounding, I was disorientated, I..was..worried about…you”, he answers avoiding your eyes. “Steve please, try to remember, it could be important”, you urge, hopefully he could remember what she had told him. “y/n, I..wish I could, but my memories are shredded, I barely remember going to the Raft”, Steve replies, regret and pain in his eyes. How he wished he could help you, could tell you what she had said to him. “I know there’s footage of her escape, but you can’t hear what she says”, he adds. “Are her lips visible?” you ask, looking at Steve, hope in your eyes. “I don’t know, why?” Steve looks at you, were you going mad? Why did you want to see her lips?

“Friday, where are Agent Strong and Star?” you ask the IA, “There in the com room, Agent y/n”, it replies. “Could you connect me to the room, please”, you wait, while you get connected with the com room. “Star here”, you hear Lexi say. “Hey, Lexipedia, do me a favor and look at the footage of the Raft. I want to know if Sharon’s lips are visible”, you ask her. Hearing only silence from the other side, “Lexi, you still there?”, you await her answer, getting nervous by the minute. “Yeah, still here, I’m looking at the footage, lips are visible, why?” Lexi asks, not knowing your intention. “Are they still visible when she is with Steve?” asking, excitement in your voice, looking at Steve. “Yeah, again why?”, Lexi asks, the question ringing in her voice. “Lexi, I’ll come to you. Thank you Friday, end call”, you say jogging out of the room. Steve soon follows, catching up with you he sees a wide grin on your face. “Care to enlighten me?”, he ask continuing your pace. Your eyes sparkle with victory, “I know someone who can read lips”, you smile, seeing the realization in Steve’s face, you only nod for agreeing the unspoken thought of Steve.

Arriving in the com rom, you get a questioning look from Lexi. “Lexi please call the following number”, letting her look on the display of your phone, “Put it on speaker and make sure you have that footage ready for transfer”, you add, waiting for the phone to ring.

“Moshi, Moshi”, a raspy and tired voice speaks. “Ohayo Tai, Soreha y/n. Gomen’nasai, Anata O samasu tame ni (<strike>sorry for waking you</strike>),” you speak, knowing he’s going to scold you. “Oi y/n, Ima wa itsudesuka (<strike>you know what time it is</strike>)”, Tai growls, you hear him sitting up in his bed. “Gomen Gomen Tai, kinkyudesu, Gomen. Eigo de hanashimashou? (<strike>sorry, it’s urgent. Let’s converse in English</strike>)” you say, “Chimy ga anata o rikai dekiru yõ ni (<strike>so the team can understand you</strike>)”, explaining to him hoping he would cooperate. Tai wasn’t a person to be waked early and asked to do his job in an instant. “Robotto, you owe me one”, he replies in English, Calli and Lexi simultaneous mouthing robotto and raising their hands questiongly. Whispering a later you continue talking to Tai. “I know I waked you really early, but please could you do me a favor. You can read lips, right?” asking him, while you start pacing around. “Yeah, it’s fucking 3 a.m. here and yes, why do you ask, you already know that”, he replies grumpy. “Listen Lexi will send you an encrypted file, there’s no audio and we really need to know what the blond woman says. The most important part are the last 3 minutes of the footage”, you explain, while Lexi encrypts the file and e-mails it. “Wait a sec, I need to go to my computer”, Tai answers and you hear him pick up his phone and stumble towards his desk. “Got it….y/n is that who I think it is?”, you hear the surprise in his voice, “Yes Tai, but please concentrate, I need to know what she says to him”, rolling with your eyes, your Japanese analyzer was a huge Captain America fan. With every minute the silence grew and your anxiety too. It was too quiet at the other end of the line, that made you begin to doubt his ability to read lips, preferable her lips. After a 10 minutes or so, you couldn’t stand the silence, “Tai? Everything okay?” you ask careful. “hmm, just looking at the footage one more time.” He answers absentmindedly. “Holy Shit”, you hear him say, “Tai, What is it? Please tell us, your killing me, come on”, grabbing a chair to put all your frustration in, waiting frustrated for an answer on the other line. “y/n you still there? Here comes the translation. When Cap…uhm Steve..sjees..When he’s down, she says the following, You can give your girl a message from me, Stevie. She can enjoy her happily ever after with you for now, but soon it will be my destiny to be with you. I’m going to change our fates. I’m going to make sure that our fates are entwined and with that you will never have met y/n”, Tai swallows, “y/n in what kind of a mess are you? Should I warn Makoto or Hiroto?”, concern in his voice, stifling a yawn. “No Tai, I’m fine, don’t worry I can take care of myself, beside don’t you need to go to sleep?” asking mockingly, your thoughts already analyzing the things she said. “Oi Robotto, first you want my help, know I need to go to sleep, shimata!” Tai exclaims. “Gomen Gomen, Tai, I owe you big time, domo arigato Tai”, you apologize, you knew you had to make it up to him bigtime. “y/n, you owe me a big bucket of ramen and that’s just the start. Now let me get back to sleep, I still have 3 hours of sleep to go”, Tai teases you. “I will take a note of it and as soon as I’m back, I’ll make it up to you. Good night Tai”, you laugh at the noises he makes. “Okay, now let me sleep, Good night….y/n, and please be careful”, he answers softly, as if you could only hear him. “I will Tai, bye”, swallowing the thick lump in your throat. When you left America, Tai had taken the place of Owen as the big brother person. You knew he was scared for your life, seeing he never asked you to be careful when you went on mission. With a quick bye the call had ended, the people in the room looked at you for answers. Answers you didn’t want to give right know, you had other things that had to be done.

“Okay, quick answers to your questions, no and no and NOOO!!!”, looking at Lexi and Calli both had an eyebrow raised. “So, you two don….” Calli starts, but stop when she sees you stare at her. Sighing you answer quickly, “ Tai is like Owen, a big brother to me, he and Makoto, they just took care of me. I was a mess when I started to work there and they took me in, I learned the language, the rituals and habits, they made sure I had an off switch. Not always y/n, the field agent who never sleeps, hence the robotto”, you almost shout the last part, why did you have to feel this way. All those fucking emotions were coming back, they were making everything so difficult again. Why couldn’t she just stay in that damn prison. “I just need a moment”, excusing yourself, you walk out of the com room and head for the kitchen a cup of coffee would straiten your mind.

Taking a sip of the hot liquid you close your eyes and sigh. You had to solve this, quickly, the longer you stayed here, the more you were on edge. Trying to find inner peace, your moment gets interrupted by the scrapping of Steve’s throat. “Sorry, just wanted to check if you’re okay”, a red blush on his cheeks. “I’m fine, Steve, just need a moment to myself”, you turn away from him, “It’s not easy, getting dragged into your world again. I was trying to give everything a place and know that bitch drags me right back in”, you gesture into thin air. “I had a deal with faith, I would leave love alone and faith wouldn’t test my emotions ever again. I….”, you feel a tear on the apple of your cheek, whipping it away you are surprised to see you’re crying. When you start to laugh to yourself, Steve gets worried, “You’re not okay, don’t try to fool me, y/n, come here”, Steve takes you by your arm, trying to hug you, “No, let me go”, you protest, but for the first time since long, Steve is stronger than your will. “Please Steve, let me go, just let me”, your voice cracking, the tears in your eyes ready to spill. “Please y/n, let me hold you. All those times I didn’t hold you while you needed it, just…let me hold you this once”, he begs. Slowly giving in to his hug, you hit him a few times on the chest, trying to scare him off, but he lets you. Once your complete in his grasp, you give in entirely and start to cry. Everything you held in all those years, spilling out this once, onto Steve’s uniform. He tries to ease you, rubbing your back, hugging you tighter, if only he could take everything he’d done to you back. If only you would let him in, if only it was that easy.

Both of you stand there, holding each other for an unknown time. When you’re calmed, you wipe away your tears, while Steve has still his arms around you. “y/n, I know this isn’t a good time, but when we have solved this and before you leave to Japan, could we at least have one talk?”, he asks, looking into your eyes, searching for an answer. You swallow before answering, “I don’t know. I need to think about it. Give me time okay?” your voice is hoarse from crying. “I’ll wait, won’t push”, Steve answers, letting go of you, missing the warmth of you instantly. “I guess working with a jetlag, makes you crazy, huh”, you slightly smile up to him. “Let’s get to work. I need to unravel the words, Sharon spoke. There’s a meaning behind it”, the determination in your voice gives Steve the sign he should let it rest, until this was solved. You had your mind set on getting Sharon back in the Raft and he would only complicate things now. But come time he would ask you for that talk again, he wanted a fair chance. 

Walking into the com room, you ask Lexi to play the sound file from Tai again, listening with your eyes close, you listen for the words that are important. “Again”, you ask Lexi. This time certain words are more present, then others, you focus on the words destiny, change and fate. You keep repeating those words, like it’s your new mantra. Hoping it will trigger some kind of memory within you. Mentally going through all the pieces of paper you held in your hands, searching for something you’ve read and could be connected to those words. You stop pacing in the room, you didn’t even notice you had begun, “There’s a piece of paper, where did I leave it”, you mumble to yourself, realizing the solution is in the next room, you sprint out the com room, almost colliding with Steve, “Sorry, out of my way”, you apologize and demand at the same time, Steve looking confused after you, “She’s got the solution”, Lexi answers to the unspoken question on Steve’s face.

“Where’s that piece of paper, she only researched one, there’s only one mythical instrument that can change fate. Where is it”, searching through the piles of paper on the large desk. “y/n, slow down”, you hear Steve say, but you ignore his comment. Within a few steps Steve’s with you, takes you by the arms and turns you towards him. “Stop it, you’re not thinking straight”, he says looking into your eyes. “Steve, let me go, if she’s after what I think, I’m…we are in great danger.. Let go”, you demand, “No, first you need to calm down, explain your thinking to me, please”, tightening his grip on you, you realize you need to explain. You’ll find the piece of paper quicker when you look together. Breathing in and out a few time, you motion for Steve to let you go, “I’m calm”, looking at him, you continue, “If I’m right, she’s planning to change the fates of all three of us. If I’m right we need to get on that plane to Morocco as soon as possible. If she’s after what I think she’s after, it’s the Cintamani stone. The only mythical stone, capable of changing once fate, with one wish she can erase me from the timeline. Like I never existed”, you say facing Steve, seeing the realization in Steve’s face, if that was her plan, you both were screwed.


	4. Yogen (The Prophecy)

“_..a legendary artifact of Buddhist and Hindu mythology, a wish-fulfilling gem of extraordinary power. Also known as the fallen star of Sirius. Possession of the stone elevates its holder to a higher state of being, granting knowledge of all time and space, consequently, the potential for world domination. Much like the Philosopher’s Stone and the Holy grail, its wielder may even attain immortality. The Cintamani Stone was hidden away in the etheric plane, within the ancient city of Shambhala also known as Shangri-La_”, F.R.I.D.A.Y. finishes explaining.

A silence fills the meeting room. Everyone is overtaken by the information. Before Thor, the Tesseract, or the Chitauri, non-existent things weren’t occurring, at least that was what they thought. After all those things, they knew better then to doubt the existence of a mythical stone. It was probable wishful thinking, that made them wish that damn stone didn’t exist. 

“If this is what she’s after, were screwed big time, correction you’re screwed big time”, Cally says freaked out. 

“Why Morocco? What’s there?” Bucky asks, voicing the question everyone’s thinking.

“I don’t know, yet”, you answer Bucky, “F.R.I.D.A.Y. is there a connection between the stone and Morocco?”, asking the IA to investigate all possibilities. 

“_Agent y/l/n, there’s no direct connection between the Cintamani stone and Morocco_”, the IA answers, after a quick calculation.

“No, direct,hmm. But is there an indirect connection? F.R.I.D.A.Y. could you look for any item connected to Shangri-La”, Lexi ask, “I have a hunch we’ll hit the jackpot” she adds, looking at you.

“_Agent Star, there is a charity-event in Marrakesh, something on the auction list is called Secrets of Shambhala, it’s a book. My research claims that there should be a map inside the book. The map shows the way to Shambhala or Shangri-La as we call it_”, F.R.I.D.A.Y. answers. 

“I knew it”, Lexi smiles, high fiving Owen next to her, who chuckles seeing a bit of the old Lexi back. “Oh, but what are we going to do? Are we letting her get that piece of the map? Are we going to Marrakesh, who’s going to Marrakesh?” Lexi starts rambling, the panic in her eyes.

“Lexi, stop, we need to think for a minute. Just process all this information and come up with a plan”, Natasha explains, looking at you, there was friction between you two. Natasha felt that you weren’t ready to forgive her completely, but hoped you would be ready at some point.

“We need to get to that event and make sure the book doesn’t fall into wrong hands”, Steve suggest, crossing his arms in the process, he knew the outcome. Wanda was not capable of an undercover mission, Natasha had a too familiar face, Lexi and Callie weren’t trained to be in the field, so this meant you were the only person left doing the job. The fact you’d changed your appearance made the decision even easier. Watching you discuss possibilities with Owen, seeing your face change when you do the calculation and realize what the outcome of it is. Steve sees you looking at him and makes eye contact, nodding at you for confirmation. The only two persons available for this mission, were him and you.

Breathing out heavy, swallowing at the thought of a mission with him together, you interrupt all conversations, “Stop talking, I know what we need to do”, you watch as everyone quiets down, getting their attention you start to explain.

“Listen, we need to team up in pairs of two. With every pair on their own assignment”, you start, looking around the table, “Calli and Lexi, could you pair up with Tony and Owen, making a network within F.R.I.D.A.Y., where..” Tony interrupt you, ”Where we make an intern cloud so we can drop everything we find in it. So we can communicate through a secure line with each other?” finishing your sentence, earning a smile from you. He knew you so well.

“Yes”, you smile, “After the network is done, Lexi and Wanda start an research on the Cintamani stone. Calli and Peter on Shangri-La, dropping everything you find in the network”, looking at Wanda, she gives you a smile, a silent thank you, she needed the time of.

“Y/N, you sure you want me…well..searching through books? I can do so much more, I can…” Peter starts, “Thank you, Peter, but..if it was a mere mission, yes you would be definitely in the field. This isn’t such a mission, she’s out on revenge and she won’t stop, until she has it. So, No, I won’t use your talents in the field. You’re the future, you’re young and I won’t let you be rotten to the core just jet”, you give him a slight smile, he nods in understanding. You were looking out for him, your message was received. He understood that he was the future of the Avengers, that you calculated loses on their account.

“Y/N, shouldn’t we try to find Thor?”, Sam ask, looking at the rest. “That’s not a bad idea, maybe he can help us with the mythological part”, Steve answers. “I will go with him”, Bucky offers, “So the old man’s with me?”, Sam jokes, “Watch it, birdbrain”, Bucky comments.

“So, that leaves Avery, Natasha, Steve and me”, you start, “Natasha and Avery, could you try to find information about Sharon’s whereabouts and plan ?”, looking at both spies. Natasha nodding in agreement and Avery avoiding eye contact with you, his arms crossed in defense.

“No, I won’t”, Avery snaps, looking angry at you. “I’m sorry, what’s wrong? Avery, do you have another plan? Please share it”, you ask him, was he going to explode just know. “How about you let me and Natasha go after her?” he growls. “Avery”, Steve warns him, “Shut up, Steve”, his jaw clenched tight. “Is it so hard to let us in the field, to let us do our job. You never once interfered with our operations the past two years. You were in Japan, doing your own thing. Now she’s on the lose, you think you can come back and start calling the shots”, Avery shouts.

“Avery, calm down, listen..”, you interrupt him. “No y/n, I’m done, you should have stayed in Japan”, he growls and walks out of the meeting room. Not accepting this ending to the meeting you go after him. “Y/N, let him”, Bucky shouts after you, but you decide to ignore him. “Hey, Avery, you want to blow of some steam, huh”, you shout to him. He turns around, looking at you, “What did you say?”, he asks. “I said, do you want to blow of some steam ?” you say again, “Come on”, you wave to him, walking towards the elevator. “What do you want?” Avery asks angry, “You’ll see, just come with me. We’re handling it our way”, you smile mischievously.

The elevator stops, you walk out and motion for Avery to follow you. Stopping in front of the gym, Avery looks at you quizzically, “Come on, take of your shoes and gear. I’ll meet you inside”, you smile, walking in, putting your hair in a bun, taking of your own shoes.

“Y/N, what’s the deal, what do you want?” Avery ask you, walking into the sparring arena. “Just, you and me, letting of some steam. Just you letting go of frustration and accepting the fact that I left”, you explain, trying to ignore the persons standing by the window. F.R.I.D.A.Y. had alarmed Tony and seemingly everyone decided to follow you to the gym. Their they were standing by the glass window, as if they were at the zoo.

You look at Avery who’s standing opposite from you, with his arms hanging besides his body. “What do you, I’m not going to hit you, you’re crazy?”, Avery exclaims. “Oh, you see I’m the one who left you, I’m the one who was selfish and I did it just to hurt you”, you start, seeing Avery’s hands clench into fist. “Y/N, stop it, it’s not going to work”, Avery clenches his jaw. “Is it?, looks like it is”, you say smug, “I heard you had a new name, Helix, sounds interesting? Care to enlighten me?” you ask him, seeing the reaction in his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it, stop it. I’m done”, Avery turns his back on you, starting to walk away, “Well, at least you’re doing what you’re good at”, you grin, knowing this could be the comment pushing him over the edge. “Y/N, stop provoking me”, he says through his teeth. “Why, just pointing out the obvious, you’re walking away”, you stand there with your arms crossed, a smug smile plastered on your face. That’s it, that was the push Avery needed, heading with full strength and an angry face towards you. You brace yourself for the impact, standing steady and arms open to receive the blow. He launches himself at you, when you connect you both fall to the ground, he on top of you. Reflexes taking over, you shield your face with your arms and let them absorb the punches Avery throws. Once you feel the tiredness in his punch, you take advantage of the situation and use your legs to get him of you. Switching roles within one swift movement, you sitting on top of Avery. Only this time, Avery isn’t capable of moving. Your knees at the base of his neck, feet pinching his hands down. “AVERY, it’s okay. You can be angry with me”, you say, feeling his legs move, trying to free himself. Leaning back, you hold his legs in place with you hands. “Hey, Avery, you make talking to you different this way”, you speak into thin air, looking at the sealing. Feeling his uneven breath, start to steady, you loosen your grip on his legs. Leaning forward, putting your hands beside his head, “You’re calm? Can we just talk?”, you look him into his eyes, he’s still breathing heavy, but his eyes are calm. “Can you let me go?”, he speaks smutted, realizing your knees still at the base of his neck. “If I get off, where going to talk. You’re not going to run, okay?” you warn him, looking him in the eyes, getting a nod for agreement. You slowly release his hands, standing up in one swift movement, waiting until Avery stands up. He lays on the floor for a few seconds, before seating himself, his hands coffering his face. Deciding to sit next to him, you lay a hand on his back, feeling is body stiffen under your touch, you wonder what happened to him. 

“Avery, what happened to you? Talk to me?”, you ask soft, this wasn’t your friend. “You, left, you left while I needed you the most”, he whispers, swallowing away his tears. “Avery, you know I needed to leave, you knew I was broken…” you start to explain, “I was broken to, I got broken and I needed you to pull me through”, he snaps. “What do you mean, why you got broken too? Avery what did happen, while I was gone. Tell me?” you ask him, rubbing his back. “I can’t…..it’s so painful, I…was tortured for several days”, the pain in his voice, avoiding your gaze. “Avery, I’m sorry I wasn’t there, but you were one of the persons who was pushing me to go, you said I had to find myself again. I get that what happened had an impact, a huge one, I get that you wanted me to be there to help you through it, but you can’t be angry at me for what happened or leaving”, you look at him, awaiting his reaction.

“It’s just, while they….tortured me…I got so angry at everything that happened, after a while I felt numb, not even registering when they brought me back to the cell. During one interrogation they talked about you, they started asking questions, I got hopeful, thinking you were trying to free me. It made me desperate and anxious, awaiting your arrival. It’s how they broke me, my will and strength gone. I really thought you were there, trying to extract me from that hellhole”, Avery looked at you, his eyes showed every emotion he went through, “I was disappointed when Natasha, Sam and Steve got me out, I looked for you, but you weren’t there. I felt betrayed, left alone and blamed you for everything I went through after breaking point”, he continues, laying a hand on his hand for comfort, you hope he will continue telling his story. “I was so angry with you, it felt like you were the one that put me there. But you weren’t, I was, I was the one who wasn’t careful during scouting and got captured. I was the one who…almost let go of intel”, he sighs, “I’m sorry, I know you weren’t to blame, but it was easier to be mad at you, then accept my own failure and accept that I had myself to blame for….”, you pat his back, “It’s okay, I get it, being angry at someone else is easier, then accepting your own failure. And I kind off left you, withholding contact. You’re probable angry with Lexi to, seeing she had contact to me all this time?”, standing up, holding out your hand for Avery.

“I’m not a child”, Avery pouts, “Well, just a minute ago, you acted like one”, you smirk, offering your hand a second time, “I can stand up on my own”, he says playfully. Starting to stand up, you take your chance and push him over, chuckling at the grumble and movement from Avery. Seeing him glare at you is the sign you should make a run for it. Within a swift movement Avery is up and running after you, “Come on slow poke, let’s get this mission started!”, you smile, seeing him smile for the first time you arrived. 


	5. Setsuzoku Sure (Connecting)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are finally heating up!

The following days were full of preparations, meetings and arranging things. Tony, Owen, Callie and Lexi were occupied with the digital preparations, making sure your gear was up to date, connected and as invisible as possible.

Wanda and Peter where reading books so they could give you the important information before leaving. Sam and Bucky had whished the both of you good luck, before going on their own mission. Hoping they would find Thor or someone who could make contact with him.

Natasha had taken a plane to Austria, while Avery visited an old friend in Albuquerque. Everyone was occupied with preparing the first part of this mission, trying to think ahead so that every follow-up mission was prepared easily. The fact that all of you knew little to nothing about the Cintamani stone, Shangri-la or Sharon’s plan, made you nervous and on edge. Let alone the fact that false identities was not an option, because Steve was going with you. Going on a mission with Captain America made it impossible to pretend to be someone else.

A mission with Steve, your stomach turned, was it turning or butterflies? How would you cope with your feelings, could you keep them in check. Hopefully everything went as planned, hopefully you didn’t stand out to much seeing you’re with Captain America on a charity event, hopefully you weren’t pushed into some shitty compromised position. Realizing you’re pouring a lot of hope into this mission, makes you chuckle at your own ignorance. Thinking about the things that could happen, let alone the situations that could make things more awkward between the two of you, made your heart race. Continuing packing your bag, a single thought crossed your mind, a cliché when you were on mission, but what if you had to kiss him? What would you do? Could you keep it strictly professional or would you betray yourself? Guess you’d have to wing it, when it happened.

“Do you have everything? Did you check your coms? Have you checked your access to the cloud?” Lexi rambled, while pacing through the room. “Lexi…Lexi…LEXI..Could you shut it!”, you say loud, making the redhead jump and look angry at you. “You kept on rambling about things we’ve already checked trice”, you say looking at her, glaring back.

“Listen, we have everything we need. When we land in Morocco we’ll call grandma over there (<strike>you pointing towards Tony</strike>) to let her know we had a safe trip. From there, we have radio silence, until we are in the venue”, you explain the first steps of your mission again, seeing Lexi calm down a little.

“Lexi, listen I’ve done this so many times. Technically it’s an extract mission, go in, find the book and get out”, you shrug your shoulders. “Except, that this extract mission has an extra challenge, don’t forget Sharon”, Owen reminds you, putting the last things in your bag.

“Don’t worry Owen, we’re going to make sure, that she doesn’t get the book or see us”, Steve says calm, putting his bag in the quinjet. “You better make sure, she doesn’t get one of you two. And don’t, just don’t pick a fight with each other”, Owen warns, glaring at Steve. “Don’t make such a fuss, we won’t bite each other’s head off, at least until we have the book, okay”, you say playfully, getting an angry look from Owen. “Just make sure, nothing happens, okay?”, Owen ask you. “Can’t guaranty you that”, you smile, giving him a hug, walking in the quinjet, closing the tailgate. “I will keep an eye on her”, Steve reassures Owen, “That’s what I’m afraid off”, Owen replies walking away from the quinjet.

Once the quinjet is up in the air, you settle behind your desk. Looking over to Steve, who’s in the cockpit programming your destination. Ignoring your inner turmoil, you try to focus on your research on the guest list. Looking over names and searching the network for information about them. With every minute you get more aware of the fact that you two are alone. Trying not to let it affect you, but you can’t ignore the feelings stirring inside you. You’ve been apart for 2 years, tried to live your own lives, both of you are visible effected by those two years.

You trying to let the intern scars fade, him chastising himself for hurting you, not trusting you. Wondering if you were childish for hanging on to the pain, your eyes fall upon a name. “Steve, I got something”, watching the tall Avenger come closer, makes your heart beat fast, you were so fucking doomed.

“What is it y/n?”, he says, resting one of his hands on the desk, while the other leans on the back of your seat, making him hover above you. His face dangerously close, startling you when he speaks again, his breath tickling your ear. Snapping out of your trance, you try to compose and find the words in your head. “uuh,..look this name..I’ve seen that name before..”, you point at the screen, when Steve reads the name, his eyes widen. “It can’t be…”, he murmurs, “She’s dead, I’ve buried her”, he whispers to himself. Without hesitation, you lay a hand on his hand for comfort and search his face for an answer. “Steve, I’m right, aren’t I. Ruth Barton, it’s one of Peggy’s old aliases, right?”, watching his reaction, realization in his face turning into a frown, when he figures out it’s Sharon using Peggy’s alias. “She’s there, that’s Sharon”, he points towards the name on the screen, then looking at you.

You’re aware of the closeness of his face, his body, letting out a shacking breath. Glazing at his soft lips, before locking eyes with him, the silence is killing, just as the look Steve’s giving you. He inched closer, slowly closing the distance between you. Molding his soft lips against yours, letting a shaky breath escape his lips, when he breaks away from you. Searching your eyes for any sign, “Steve”, you try warning him, but fail miserably. Crashing his lips into yours with a searing and passionate kiss. When you open your mouth to say something, he feels bold and slips his tongue past your lips, moaning when he feels you melting into him.

Laying one hand in the nap of his neck, while the other fist his dirty blond hair. Desperation and longing in your kiss, wanting nothing more than to feel every inch of each other. Cupping the cheek of your ass, he peppers your neck with kisses. Making his beard tickle your sensitive skin, earning a giggle from you. “I’ve missed you”, he whispers before he captures your lips in another searing kiss. Your mind’s getting foggy from the lack of air or was it the sensation of Steve against you, you pull away.

Breathing heavy, you look silently at each other. Registering the messy hear, bruised lips and dilated eyes of Steve, you can imagine that’s the way you look to. When he hugs you tight, you feel his excitement against your leg, makes you snap out of that warm fuzzy feeling. It felt like the mission with Clint all over again, your mind starting to panic at the memories. Steve feels you stiffen up in his arms and looks at you, realizing what you’re thinking, he loosens his grip on you. “Y/N, I’m..”, he starts, seeing you looking angry at him, “Steve, DON’t..”, walking out of his grasp. “Don’t ever say you’re sorry again or I’ll snap your neck”, you warn him, seeing the hurt on his face, you ask yourself if you’ve went too far. “Look, it happened okay, that’s that. I’m going to go get some sleep, so I can take the nightshift”, you say before laying on the bed with your back towards the room. Its quit in the room for a little while, hearing your breath slow down, he steps towards you, covering you with a blanket. 

“I’m not sorry, I’m just glad it happened. If only you could except that my feelings are still real for you”, he whispers to your back, believing you’re already a sleep, he steps into the cockpit watching the sky, letting his mind wander. At the same time the words Steve spoke, keep repeating in your head. Touching your lips, you scold yourself. You shouldn’t let the things in the past effect you. 

You don’t know for how long Steve has let you sleep, but when you wake up the skies is dark. “You’re awake”, Steve’s voice is hoarse, he tries to stifle a yawn. Looking the tall Avenger over, you notice his tired eyes and ruffles hair. Did he try to sleep in the chair? Why didn’t he wake you up? Getting out of the bed, “For how long did I sleep?”, stretching your body. “Almost 4 hours, it’s 1 in the morning. We will arrive at 5 in Ait Rbaa, their awaiting us there”, Steve answers while rubbing his eyes, yawning again. “Come on soldier, you need some sleep”, patting the bed, “I will take the next shift, get some sleep. I will wake you when we land”, you smile, motioning Steve to come out of the chair. “Okay, okay, I get it. The old man needs to sleep”, he yawns again, laughing about it. Laying himself on the bed, your scent hits his nostrils instantly. It’s almost as if your lying next to him, within seconds he’s asleep.

For the time being you occupy yourself with reading more files, navigating to Ait Rbaa and listening to your own music. When Steve begins to turn in his sleep, you mute the music and hope he will continue sleeping. For a minute it seems to work, but he soon starts to toss and turn, murmuring in his sleep. When his murmuring turn in to shouts, you go to him trying to calm him. “Steve, sss, it’s okay, you’re here, it’s okay”, you caress his hair, hoping it will help. “sss, Steve, stop, it’s okay”, you look at him, the panic in his voice is visible on his face. How could you help him, get him out of his dream. You try to shake him awake, “Steve, wake up, your dreamING!”, you shout hoping to wake him. “Y/N, NO DON’T”, Steve yells, sitting up, searching for something, for you. Noticing you in front of him, he grabs hold of you, hugging you tight, “You’re here, you’re okay”, he whispers hoarse, his eyes still closed, “You’re here”. 

“Steve, I’m here, you’re okay”, you whisper, hugging him back, tightening your grip. Steve cups your cheeks with his hands, resting his forehead on yours, “I dreamed about us, you and I. It was nighttime and we stood on a cliff, one moment you were there, the other gone. I searched for you, I couldn’t find you. It was so dark, so so dark”, he breaths heavy, his eyelids still heavy from sleep. “Steve you need to sleep, I’m here, not going anywhere”, you reassure him, guiding him to lie down.

“I know, I’m not entitled to ask, but..please stay with me”, Steve asks, barely able to look you in the eye, “at least until I’m asleep”, he adds his across his cheeks a pink flush. Eyeing Steve for a moment, trying to figure out if he was messing with you, you decide to shut up your inner voice and give in to your heart. “Scoop over, Rogers, I need some space”, you tease him.

Laying with your back against his chest, he wraps his arms around you. His soft thank you, soon followed by an even breath and light snoring. You smile to yourself, a warm feeling spreading within you. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, wake up, Could you wake us when we arrive in Ait Rbaa or when somethings is happening?”, you ask the AI. “I will, Agent y/l/n”, F.R.I.D.A.Y answers, “Thank you, for that time being please go on autopilot”, you command closing your eyes and try to sleep some more. Subconsciously you curl into him and twist your leg with his own. Letting sleep take you over once more.

“Captain Rogers, Agent y/l/n, we arrive at Ait Rbaa in 20 minutes”, the AI announces waking the both of you. “Thanks”, you reply, rubbing your eyes, trying to stand up. “Just one more minute”, Steve’s sleepy voice asks, “Just one moment staying this way, before we, have to be us again”, he says clearing his throat. “Did you sleep well?”, you ask staring into the distance. “I had a dreamless sleep, thanks to you”, Steve answers, taking your hand, entwining his fingers with yours. “Glad to hear that”, you smile, turning slightly so you can look at him, ignoring the feeling in the pit of your stomach. “I’m going to freshen up”, moving so you can sit up with your back towards Steve, stretching your sore muscles.

Feeling courage taking over him, Steve’s sits behind you, one of his legs on each side of you. Laying a hand on your stomach, while his other keeps entwined with your hand. You feel your heartbeat rising, not knowing if you should give into were you were heading. You lean into his chest, trying to steady your breath. Feeling what this intimate gesture does to you, makes him bolt in his move. Tucking away the lose strains of hair, he kisses the nap of your neck. Feeling you taking in a sharp breath, makes him smile against your exposed flesh. Kissing his way up, towards your cheek, stopping at the corner of your mouth. Feeling him breathing irregular, he brushes his lips against yours, not being able to take the longing you close the distance between the two of you.

Capturing his lips in a kiss, soft, gentle and slow. Moving in sync, slowly, cautiously. Your body overtaken by eccentric panic and rising lust. His hand moving to you jaw, making you turn more towards him, deepening the kiss. Slightly opening your mouth, so he could explore it. Tasting his sweet and earthy taste in your mouth, enjoying every moment of it. His hand traveling from your stomach to your breast, cupping it gentle. His thumb grazing over your nipple, makes you lean in to him. Pressing your ass to his groin. Awakening the lust in both of you. Feeling yourself tremble under his touché, knowing with that you’re in too deep. Too deep, to let this go by and not talk about this if you would continue this. It would make it complicated, before this mission even started. Laying your hand on top of his, stopping him from going any further. You are angry with yourself, knowing what you’re going to do, could set you back in the relationship you’re building. Trying to control the fogginess in your mind, swallowing to ease your dry troath. 

Speaking his name, would ruin the moment, but you had to. “Steve..”, your voice barely above a whisper, “We need to….we need to stop”, you say swallowing hard. Snapping both of you out of the trance you’re in. Laying against his chest, you don’t dare to look at him, not wanting to see the emotions on his face. “We need to focus on the mission”, your chest still rising irregular. “I know..”, he sighs, hugging you once more, before removing himself from the position. Giving you a kiss on your forehead, “We need to talk about this, we can’t….”, Steve starts swallowing the rest of his words. His pupils are still dilated, as were yours if you had to guess. Looking eyes for a moment, you nod at the unspoken words. Walking towards the cockpit, trying to clear his mind before landing.

Staring into the distance for a moment, you try to clear your own mind. With this pace things were getting more complicated by the minute. If only you could focus on the mission and not on the longing for his hands to roam over every part of your body. Clearing your throat, hoping to gain your composure with it, failing miserable with it, you ask the AI to scan the area. 

After the AI signals the area clear, the quinjet is cleared for landing, using its reflectors for stealth. Once the quinjet is on the ground, you take your bag and head outside. Checking the stealth-modus from the quinjet one last time, you start your 20 minute walk. The walk is quiet, Steve and you exchange looks several times, but no one of you speak about the things happened in the quinjet. Breaking silence when you spot the house in the distance.

Checking your environment, before knocking on the door. Waiting for someone to open the door, you feel relieved when a manly figure is opening the door. “Hunter, good to see you. Sorry to interrupt your life’s as retired spies”, you smile at the English man, hugging him. “Good to see you to, smalls”, he smiles back, letting you enter the house. “Bobbi’s in the back?” looking around for the tall blond, not getting a reply from the English man. “Hunter, I asked…really Hunter!? He’s just another person, come on Hunter, don’t go all Coulson on me!”, you exclaim seeing Hunter stare at Steve, making him feel awkward and somewhat shy. “oh, sosorry Captain, please do come in”, Hunter stammers. “Thank you, and it’s Steve, please call me Steve”, he replies before entering the house.


	6. Junbi (Preparing)

Reuniting with the two ex-spies was something you needed. Seeing that in your line off work, love was possible. Both were madly in love with each other, even after all those years. Just like every other couple they would bicker or discus things, but always reconciled. That was one thing, being a spy had learned them, don’t go away angry or mad. You loved to watch them, but felt sad thinking about your own relationship, or rather the non-exciting fact about it. Focusing on the upcoming mission, became more difficult by the day. The way Steve was behaving around you, didn’t make it any easier. He tried to act as normal as possible, trying to let the events in the quinjet don’t influence him nor you. For the both of you, it looked like it worked, any other could see two fools not giving in on another.

When you left for Ait Rbaa, 3 days for preparations seemed enough, but the day of the charity-event had come to soon. Today was the day, the day you’d try to cross Sharon’s plan. Dressing yourself in a dress Natasha had chosen, you debate with yourself. Were you ready for this mission, could you shut off all your emotions, that had grown with the days. Pretend that what did happen between you and Steve, didn’t. Applying the last bit of eyeshadow to your eyes, a knock interrupts your inner thoughts.

“Y/N, can I come in?” Bobbi asks, awaiting your answer. “Yes, come in Bobbi”, you answer, while looking at yourself in the mirror. “Wow….you sure you’re going on a mission?”, Bobbi compliments, seeing your red dress. “Is it too much, am I standing out?”, the insecurity on your face, “Natasha packed it for me, saying I would need it”, you smile, thinking back at the big smile the redhead had. Giving you the order, only to take the cover of, when you were changing for the event. When you finally did, half an hour ago, you knew why she had asked you that. When you had seen the cut and color of the dress back home, you would’ve swapped it with something more discrete. It was a long crimson red A-line dress with a slit by your left leg. The bodice with sleeves, hugged your figure and cupped your breast perfectly. As if it weren’t enough, your cleavage stopped just above your belly button. The red peep toe’s making you stand tall and elegant, but were a challenge for you, this was a height you weren’t used to.

“Were do I keep my gun?”, you ask no one particular, eyeing yourself in the mirror. Bobbi laughs at you, “That’s the thing you worry about? I think Steve will love it. You look stunning”, her eyes shining with amusement. “Steve..what has he to do..?”, you stop midsentence, seeing Bobbi give you the look, “Don’t fool me y/n, the longing looks you both give each other, don’t go unnoticed by me nor Hunter”, she blinks, “I think the mission will go just fine. And with your gun problem, I think I’ve got something that can help you. Just need to check my old equipment”, walking out of the room.

Checking your hairstyle in the mirror, you decided to put in some more bobby pins and walk into the bathroom. Hearing someone enter the room, you assume it’s Bobbi, “Did you find..”, coming out of the bathroom, stopping when you see Steve standing there. The tuxedo he’s wearing frames him, making him look handsome. His freshly trimmed beard and styled hair, makes the picture complete. You both stare at each other for a moment, not knowing what to say to the other. His gaze roaming over your body, just like yours does over his.

The dress hugged you in all the right places and made him wish there was no mission. How he wished you trusted him, that there was no rift between you. He was tired of the fights and discussions you’ve had with each other. Or the fact that every time he came close, you stopped him and put up your wall again. How he wished for you to let it go and accept your feelings. He knew you felt the same way, you were just to fucking scared or angry to accept it.

Imagining helping you out of that dress and into bed, awakes that urge he had tucked away safely. Trying to ignore what you do to his body and mind, he starts talking about the mission. 

“I wanted to talk to you about..Well..just wanted to check if you’re okay with what were about to sell. You’re okay with us pretending to be a couple?”, Steve asks breaking the silence, shifting in his stance, his movements emphasizing how out of place he’s feeling. 

“Steve, it’s part of the job. I don’t think we need to talk about boundaries, just be yourself, act natural. Do what you would do, if we were a real couple”, startled by what you say, you avoid looking at him. Screaming mentally, how could you be so stupid to say something like that. Asking yourself how he would be, if you really were a couple. After this mission was done, you needed to talk to yourself. Seeing your body, had already made up its mind, twice, you needed to decide if you could let go of the past, “What I meant was I will follow your move, they won’t even notice that we’re not together”, you answer, looking at him, the question visible on his face.

“Y/N, I..we need to talk about what happened. I know you’re not ready, but you just can’t let me expect to ignore the signals you’re sending my way. In the quinjet you kissed me back, I think that’s pretty clear. I know I made some bad decisions in the past, but I need to..”, Steve takes a few steps towards you.

“Steve, we’re about to go on a mission. I need my head clear and talking about that stuff, thinking about Us being together, doesn’t help. I can’t talk about it, not yet..I need to focus, we can’t afford mistakes”, you interrupt him, seeing the pain in his face makes you regret your words that instant. Stepping closer, laying your hands on his shoulders, “The past marked us with scars, it left us vulnerable. I’m trying to let it go an accept my vulnerability. But at this moment I need Steve Rogers the soldier”, adjusting the collar of his blazer, pecking his cheek “I’m sorry”, for a moment you stare each other in the eyes, trying to except the situation you’re in at the moment. 

“Here I found my old holster”, Bobbi says walking in, seeing the both of you staring at each other, “Everything okay?”, she asks looking at you. Snapping out of your stare, you look at Bobbi, “Yeah Fine, nothing’s wrong”, you smile, looking at the item Bobbi had brought. “Here, you can attach this to your leg. It adjust to your skin color, hiding your gun in plain sight”, handing you the holster, ignoring Steve for a moment. “Thanks, that way I won’t go without a weapon”, fastening the holster onto your right leg, attaching the gun to it. “So, ready to go ?”, you look at Steve, who’s still having an intern monologue. “Steve, can we go?”, you ask again, a little louder, finally getting his attention. “Yes, we can go, just need to check our coms and equipment with Hunter”, Steve answers clearing his throat at the awkward situation. “Let’s go then”, taking your clutch, you walk downstairs.

“Jowsa, you look hot, smalls”, Hunter whistles, handing you your earpiece, “Thanks, but don’t let your wife hear it”, you wink at him. “He’s only speaking the truth”, Bobbi remarks, handing you your items, a lipstick laser, a powder box with compartments, earrings and matching neckless and a bracelet that turns in a chain. “How cliché”, you say amused, looking at Steve, who’s been quiet the whole time.

“Say, Rogers, cat got your tongue?”, you ask, not getting an answer, you turn towards him. “You’re not thinking about aborting the mission, are you?” standing in front of him with your hands on your hips, “Stev..”, he interrupts you by giving you a quick kiss on the lips, “I was just admiring you, you look gorgeous”, he softly says and walks towards Hunter for his equipment.

You look stunned at Bobbi, who raises her brows, mouthing ‘finally’. “We’ve explored the venue and hid some camera’s and mics. Your back-up equipment and gear are hidden on different places. You can find them with the tracker on your purse and watch if you need them. The cameras are connected to the com room in the compound”, Hunter explains, “You’re necklace and bowtie are new gadgets from Wakanda, greetings from Suri and the warning not to lose them. The items contain your uniform. Just like T’Challa you can summon your uniform if needed. Let’s hope it’s not necessary”, Bobbi gives a warning look.

“Remember, were gone as soon as you leave this house. It will be like we’ve never been here. Your belongings will be stashed away in a safe at the train station. Along with your passport and two train tickets to Tarbaka in Tunisia. From there you need to contact the base”, he continues, hugging you tight, “Be careful, smalls” pecking the side of your head.

“As of now, we were never here. Never met you or helped you prep this mission. We’re retired state agents, enjoying a vacation”, Bobbi smiles, guiding you out of the house. “Watch each other’s back. Once you’re in the venue your coms will connect automatically with the compound, oh and Cap, watch her, keep her safe!” Hunter warns Steve, glaring at him for a second. “Don’t worry Agent Hunter, she’s important to me to”, Steve says stepping into the car. 

Stepping into the car you take one last glance at those two, they were legends, ghost if you would believe their files. Retired for a long time, stayed in hiding since Hive and now they risked everything to help the both of you. Hopefully they could continue their way of living, without any interruption. 


End file.
